Hope is the only thing that keeps us moving.
Hope is the thing to look forward to, the “better day tomorrow,” the chance to see dreams fulfilled. Hope is the thing that propels us forward; it gives us the drive to chase after our dreams, the energy to push through the late nights and the resilience to pick ourselves back up when it doesn’t work out. Hope is the thing that gives us purpose and shapes who we are.
But, a lack of hope is often the thing that kills us.
Much of our lives are lived in the in-between, the not-yet and not-quite-good-enough. Most of our lives are not lived in the moments where we scale the mountain or accept the proposal. Hope is what keeps us moving through the mundane. It pushes us through uncertainty and frustration, holding on to the idea that what we desire is around the corner.
Hope is a beautiful thing, and a terrible thing to lose. Few things are harder to hold on to than hope when so much of life works against us and seeks to rip away the very thing that keeps our head above water, but it’s what we need more than anything.
Part of what makes the uncertainty around this pandemic so difficult is that hope feels elusive. We don’t know when the dreams we’ve worked towards can be fulfilled. The weddings we’ve spent our lives dreaming about are still out of reach. The job that feels purposeful is a little farther away. The someone we hoped to meet is only available through an app. The family members we looked forward to spending more time with are no longer here.
When things feel the heaviest is often when we feel the least hopeful. The moments of our deepest depression are the moments when we can’t seem to break through the dark clouds to find a glimpse of the silver lining.
But hope is more than just a feeling, it’s a choice. My friends have often joked that I’m “just good at rejection” - and there’s a nugget of truth to that. In reality, I’m not good at handling rejection, I’m good at holding on to hope. When I go on the thousandth bad date or get turned down from another dream job, I don’t let hopelessness win. Instead, I choose hope. I chose to mourn, gather together the lessons I’ve learned, force myself to look from a new perspective, and escape back into the comfort of “tomorrow will be better.”
But telling someone how to choose hope without any direction is like telling someone to jump-start a car without giving them jumper cables. I don’t have all of the answers, but these few things have helped me hold on to hope.
Get Rooted
My hope has a source – plain and simple. I know that I have a God who loves me deeply and works all things together for my good. Every hard thing I come across; I know can be purposeful. I know that if all else fails, if my life here on earth is utterly disappointing, I can hope for a life with Him that is completely whole. If you don’t yet know what that hope feels like, I pray you would – but whatever you find hope in, I pray it grounds you and carries you through the hardest of times.
Practice Gratitude
So much of finding your hope again is refocusing your perspective. When I feel utterly hopeless about dating, I remind myself of all of the wonderful people I have who help me feel whole. I let myself think about what my singleness has allowed me to experience – the late nights with kids I mentor or the dreams I’ve been able to chase. Remembering what I have fills me and gives my heart space to pull together the remnants of hope I need to move forward.
Know What You’re Worth
Hope can feel elusive when we forget that we deserve things worth hoping for. If we have a misconception of who we are and believe that we don’t deserve anything – we cut off our lifeline that is hope. If you don’t believe you deserve to be loved or see your dreams become reality, you rob yourself of hope for the future. Know that you have every right to hop – and more importantly, that you deserve to hope.
Remember the Journey
When we’re feeling lost and feel like the things we desire are always out of reach, it’s often helpful to look back at our lives and remember moments where hope has been fulfilled. Perhaps it was the moment you were accepted into your dream school, or when you got that first job out of college. Maybe it was finally getting your first kiss or taking a flight across the world. When we reflect on our lives, we can often find many moments of our hopes coming to life – even in small ways. Remembering how hope has come through for us before shows us that it can happen again.
There have been many moments when the things I’ve longed for feel out of reach, but the thing that keeps me moving forward and pushes me to take risks is the hope that the things I desire are just around the corner. Having hope gives me the courage to text the guy I want to get to know better or gives me strength to dust myself off when it doesn’t work out. It’s the armor that lessens the blows of rejection and the fire that pushes me through the late nights.
We need hope to survive, so don't give up hope for anything.
